So I got the first one out of the way, and i’m now into the dark world of writer’s block. Now I’m not one to desperately seek the approval of others so I’ve not been counting, but from my first entry I’m estimating I’ve probably got something similar (ish) to 27 Facebook likes, 3 shares, 3 Retweets, a Favourite and a text of congratulations from my Sister. I didn’t even think I had 27 friends on Facebook or a Sister who loved me, so suffice to say, the past couple of days have been emotional.

Considering that equated to an unadulterated success that I can surely never replicate, I have since been considering whether or not to go out on a high. Don’t panic, I don’t mean i’ve been weighing up the pro’s and con’s of jumping off the Suspension Bridge, I mean packing in the blog as a regular thing and doing a Christmas special every year instead. I think it’s a plan with plenty of mileage, but i’ve decided to crack on regardless; times are tough at Union Berlin and I need a distraction. Besides, according to my profile page I have gained myself a very small but committed following in Europe who I couldn’t bear to let down. Who’s viewing my blog in Spain, Denmark and Germany anyway? Whoever you may be; thank you my Mainland cousins, it’s your support that keeps me going.

Apparently, anecdotes are the name of the game when it comes to blogging, so I’ll share with you my bus journey from yesterday. It was on time for once, and feeling ultra confident I immediately dismissed the notion of sitting downstairs and proceeded up the steps instead, minding not to fall straight back down them as soon as the driver set off unnecessarily quickly, definitely with the express intention of doing me as much damage as possible. 1-0 you bastard, i’m alive to tell the tale.

Upstairs was an assortment of small children exchanging jokes. This one lad worked the crowd with the following- “what’s bigger, the Earth, Jupiter, the Sun, or a Galaxy”, and when one of the little kids would say “a galaxy”, he would reveal that they were actually incorrect, because a galaxy is merely a chocolate bar. It’s not great, but they were five years old so i’ll let him off. Well, I thought it wasn't that great, but the fella looking after them thought it was the most hilarious line he’d heard in all his existence. He turned around in my direction and shouted “OI STEVE!” immediately I assumed I was about to be brutally murdered in a tragic case of mistaken identity, however it turns out that there was another member of their entourage sat at the back. Thank God for real Steve, because I was about to attempt a dramatic escape by diving through the front window.

Now Steve must be cool, because despite the fact he was with a group of people, he decided it was fitting to ditch them and go straight to the back of the bus, on his own, about ten rows behind the rest. Steve was the Dad, and he responded to the call with some kind of strange grunt. “Steve, get on this joke your lad’s just come out with”. The Boy needed some encouragement before delivering his joke again, but eventually he plucked up the courage and presented his Dad with the same options- Earth, Jupiter, the Sun or a Galaxy. I’m speculating at this point because I was facing the other way, but i’m assuming Steve had a look of pure bewilderment on his face as if to silently ponder what a Jupiter was. Ten seconds or so later he replied “err, Earth innit?” Good effort mate, but not quite the answer we were looking for.

Later in the journey one of the kids was on his knees facing the wrong way when the driver suddenly braked, throwing him off his seat in the process. Steve shouted over “see, this is why I tell you to always sit on your bum, Daddy’s always right, remember!”...good God, I fucking well hope he isn’t.