Shakespeare wuz ere

I was in the pub on Saturday nursing a dreadful hangover. In the 6 hours I was there I had two solitary pints; hair of the dog my friends, it doesn’t always work.

The pub is the best place to go to discuss all the burning issues with your mates. Football, music, current affairs, girls etc. so naturally I brought up Ed Sheeran’s appearance on Home and Away last Friday evening. Well, it was a burning issue to me and loads of other people, alright?

I was asked by my good pal Bakes if I actually watched the show in question, to which I told him yes, obviously. Every weeknight at 6pm, channel 5, immediately after Neighbours. If you’re lucky enough to have a day off you can even treat yourself to watching it in the early afternoon for a change of pace, where for some reason they break tradition by putting it on before Neighbours instead of after it. I’m not 100% sure why this is, but I reckon it’s something to do with water flushing the other way in Australia.

“That just sums you up. The little things like that” he told me.

I’ve been thinking about that line ever since. And by ever since, I don’t really mean ever since, I mean I thought about it for ten minutes last night, had a minor existential crisis and thought I’d write a blog about it. Does it really sum me up? What do people think of me? What do all of these little things say about me? How am I perceived by the world?

Nowadays, social media is the ideal place to cast judgement on people. I thought I’d take a look at my social media activity and imagine I was a stranger to get some clue on what a real stranger might think of me. I know, I am a genius. I’ve had a week off work this week, so this was the ideal opportunity to see what the real me is all about.

Twitter will tell you that on Monday I “watched, and genuinely enjoyed” a programme on BBC4 about the changing of the seasons. Facebook will tell you that on Tuesday I went to Tudor World in Stratford Upon Avon and dressed up as an executioner with my girlfriend, where I wrote “Shakespeare wuz ere 2k15” with a quill. You may also note that my Facebook profile is a picture of me in a Dec mask and my whatsapp profile picture is a screenshot from the film “Grease” (“Rockin’, rollin’ and whatnot”, classic gag). I've also revealed via this blog that i'm an avid Home and Away watcher. And that’s it for the week; living life to its fullest.

Two immediate questions sprung to mind; how has this lad got a girlfriend, and how long before she dumps him?

These things all say something about me and I’m not entirely sure they are positive. It was interesting to look from the outside though and wonder what categories I fit into, what I would think of myself through the eyes of someone else. Anyone who says they don’t care what other people think about them is either a liar or a total sociopath, but maybe the extent we worry about it varies from person to person.

How do you think you are perceived? How do you want people to look at you? It might be my next burning issue to discuss when we’re at the pub. Sure you’ll look forward to that one, Bakes.

Whehey, it's the General Election

I've actually quite enjoyed the build up to this election so far.

I never thought I would type those words as I usually fall under the umbrella of people who hate it all and think politicians are all the same. Tax dodging, false promises, tens of thousands on expenses, posh Eton boys protecting their mates' wallets etc etc.  But having got a bit more involved I can see that the problem isn't that all politicians are the same, it's that we keep voting for the same politicians and expect them to be different. And if you want to quote that and layer it on top of a picture of me looking pensive then please, go ahead. Something like this would suffice:

Two sets of people, though, have been frustrating me. Firstly, there is the group that I formerly belonged to. The ones who won't get involved, won't research their options, they are prejudiced from the start and decide they won't vote because they don't think there is anyone worth voting for. But if you look past Labour and the Tories there are genuine alternatives. Watching the debates a couple of weeks ago was fantastic, and I don't understand how anyone could watch it and not have thought: "Sod it, let's just give the job to them three women" (or something to that affect).

Natalie Bennett of the Greens, Leanne Wood of Plaid Cymru, and Nicola Sturgeon of the SNP gave me real faith that there are people out there who are genuine progressives and have our interests at heart. Seeing the three ladies on stage bossing the whole debate while Farage stood in the corner moaning about the audience (probably full of foreigners) and Ed being his usual uninspiring self, it felt like the old guard vs the future. Now clearly it's impossible to vote for 2 of those 3 unless i've gained a cult following in Wales and Scotland, which is doubtful, but the point still stands; politicians aren't inherently bad, we just need to do our homework, make the effort to find the right ones and then vote them in. Bloody simples.

The second group of people who have frustrated me are the tactical voters. I read something on Twitter a couple of weeks back that said "the only wasted vote is a vote for a party you don't believe in". That sums it up beautifully. If you want to see politics change for the better, look up the manifestos, read them carefully, pick the one you agree with most and go with them. I don't want the Tories in again, but I won't vote Labour just to keep them out. The truth is that Labour aren't the Labour of old and while they are better than the Tories they are basically just a slightly nicer, watered down version. I'll be voting for the party who I feel most reflect my views on the world and what our priorities should be, I would encourage you to do the same.

Nothing will ever change if we keep voting between these two parties. I can't think of anybody I know that is happy with how this country is run, yet we're in the same two horse race we've been in since god knows when; it doesn't make any sense but we do have the power to change it.

I haven't mentioned UKIP because enough has been said about them over the last year or so. If anyone is considering voting UKIP, I would give you the same advise I would give anyone, read the manifestos first. Even just the basic summary. If you read that and still wish to vote for them, that is absolutely your right.  Although I do hope that a Romanian rugby tackles you on your way to the Polling Station.